I am still feeling a little down after my weigh in yesterday. In fact if I am honest it is more than a little down but I am not sure I can lay all the blame at the feet of my weigh in results. A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with severe depression. Although there is several reasons as to why I was depressed one of them was my actual weight gain. Not only was it a problem it was also a catch 22 situation. You see the more depressed I got the more I ate. I tried to find any enjoyment from life by eating the types of foods I liked in abundance. It would work. The whole time I was eating these lovely tasting unhealthy foods I was in heaven, my troubles forgotten for the moment and not a care in the world. That is until I took that last bite. Then I would be worse than before I started. I would hate myself for being weak. I would admonish myself for believing that food held the secret to happiness. It doesn’t but that didn’t stop me from doing the same thing the next day. Of course the longer term result of this behaviour was to put on more weight, which would increase my level of depression which I would try to fix with another bout of bad eating. So I know through this journey there are going to be highs and lows. That is just natural. What I will have to be careful about is that the lows don’t send me into a downward spiral that undoes all of the good work I am doing and then some. I don’t really know how I will do this, but that it is important that I am constantly vigilant in being aware of it.
Another symptom of my depression can be either sleeping to much or not enough (I know, how can it be both). I didn’t sleep well last night and I found myself sleeping on the couch on and off all day today. So I can see a pattern in my behaviour that could lead to trouble. However so far I am still being strong with my eating. In fact I would say its not even about being strong, I just don’t feel like eating for enjoyment at the moment. Last week a fast food ad on tv would drive me crazy wanting to eat something bad. This week though it isn’t bothering me. I think it has taken 2 weeks to convince my body that it doesn’t want that shit and that what it is being supplied is more than enough nutrition.
In fact the last two days I haven’t eaten very much at all. I think this had an affect on my appetite as by dinner time I was quite famished and feeling like something substantial. I was the only one home so I had to make dinner and I decided to make something keto friendly that we haven’t done yet. I decided to make steak and salad wraps using a keto friendly naan bread recipe. I dry rubbed the steak with a smokey flavoured spice mix and sliced it thinly after cooking. I made a simple salad dressed with what I call my big mac sauce (I simply mix mustard pickles with mayo until I get the right flavour). I served it with the naan bread and the meal was loved by all.
Link to the Naan bread recipe I used.