Friday 9 November

Once again started the day without breakfast. I actually went out to lunch with my good friend Adam. It was Adam and his wife Laurene that convinced Leanne that we should both try keto. They have had amazing success with it. I planned not to eat anything before lunch but I ended up having a snack before we went to lunch. Proper pork crackle and only a small amount. Not the pork crackle chips that started off as a good snack for me but lately are becoming my downfall.

I was worried about lunch because I knew there would be foods I would want to eat on the menu, but foods I shouldn’t eat. Going with Adam I at least knew I would have support. In fact I was very proud of myself. I ordered a drover’s steak, which was a rump steak topped with cherry tomatoes, onions and cheese. The waitress asked if I would like salad and chips with it. I said just salad thank you. She then asked if I would like double salad. I said no thank you. Success, this is the first time I have eaten out since starting keto. I ordered a no sugar coke to drink and Adam and I had a very enjoyable lunch.

After lunch we planned to go to the driving range and hit a few balls. However it was closed for maintenance so we played around of mini golf instead. All in all I was satisfied with a time together. We normally would involve food and alcohol around our get togethers. It was good to do something without unhealthy behaviour being involved. Like I said it helps that Adam is on the program as well.

I think I am still grazing to much. Whether it is the pork crackle chips which I am finding hard to avoid (although I did today), or salami and cheese, or anything I can find in the fridge that meets the keto requirements. I feel I am going to pay for this come weigh in day.

Dinner was keto swiss meatballs, delicious! This is close to my favourite keto meal we have had. We have only had it twice which makes it even better.

Thursday November 8

So it appears not having breakfast is becoming the norm now and something I am use to. However I still feel like I am eating to much later in the day and maybe this is caused by me not eating enough earlier. Or maybe I am slowly getting out of the habit of eating when I am hungry and eating because of boredom. I need to be really careful. I get a feeling that this weeks weight loss is not going to be very good.

I just had a my normal snack of pork crackle mid to late morning and had a caesar salad around 3 in the afternoon. I worked until about 10 and when I came home Leanne had bought home some leftovers from a work function she had been at. Some steak and sausages which she made a salad to have with. I was that hungry I ate both pieces of steak (they were only small) and the sausage with the salad. Although satisfied afterwards I felt guilty for eating all the meat.

On top of this I have been grazing all week. Like I said on Tuesday, nothing I shouldn’t eat but way to much. I can’t even publish what extra I’ve been eating because I just don’t know.

Wednesday November 8

I feel like I might be eating to much this week. I am not eating anything I shouldn’t but maybe to much of what I should. A good loss of weight can cause you to be a little lax or at least I know it can cause me to be. The good thing at the moment is that it is not making me feel  like it would be alright to have something I shouldn’t. I am not thinking oh it would be alright if I ate a burger and some chips because I have been doing well, because that would be a gateway to putting all the weight back on.

Al l had to eat for most of the day was some pork crackle. Around half past 3 I ate my lunch which was a sausage salad which was quite enjoyable. I am having pickles in most of my salads and I am enjoying them immensely.

Taylah had cricket training in the evening at Ipswich. I decided to have a walk while she was training as I hadn’t had any exercise for the day yet. Walking around Ivor Marsden Ovals where she trains can be quite risky thanks to the wildlife. Mainly kangaroos. Now I can here all you people not from Australia and even some from here saying kangaroos are cute, how could they be dangerous. A kangaroo cornered or feeling in danger is capable of doing extreme damage, even killing a person. They are extremely strong animals with sharp claws. Realistically I don’t feel any danger from them, as I plan to stay away from them and I know there first thought is to stay away from me. There is just that many at Ivor Marsden that you need to be watchful to make sure you don’t accidentally corner one or encroach to closely to where they feel the need to defend themselves or their joeys.

Oval 1 at Ivor Marsden. This is only a fraction of kangaroos that can be here

Like I said I wasn’t really worried about the kangaroos but I was keeping an eye on them just in case. I was coming to the end of my hour walk when I crossed paths with something way more deadly. A  highly venomous red-bellied black snake. My path would have had me walk right over him. Luckily I spotted him about 5 metres away. Normally red-bellied blacks are quite docile snakes unless it is breeding season. I watched this one for a while, taking some video and photos. He was well aware I was there but he was as cautious as I was, taking his time to head wherever he was going. Who would of thought getting a little bit of exercise could be so dangerous.

Red-bellied black snake

After my exciting walk we headed home to Toowoomba and stopped for a drink on the way home, where I had another packet of pork crackle. I really thinking my eating is getting out of hand. I ate the whole 50gram packet which I haven’t being doing, normally having up to 3 snacks out of the one packet.

Dinner was chicken legs with zucchini stuffed with cream cheese, cauliflower, bacon and mozzarella. I didn’t look very appealing on the plate and I was a little disappointed but once I ate it, it was quite delicious.

Tuesday November 7

A big day today in Australia, it’s  Melbourne Cup Day. For those around the world not familiar with the Melbourne Cup it is considered one of the biggest horse races in the world. Due to it being the the Cup and the fact that I am working my other job tonight which I start at 6 pm I decided to have a lazy day at home.

I cooked some bacon and eggs for breakfast then settled on the couch to flick between the NFL game, the races and also playing some Red Dead Redemption. I was probably a bit bad, I ate a whole 50 gram packet of pork crackle while enjoying my day on the couch.

Besides the pork crackle I didn’t eat anything else for the rest of the day but I did guzzle litres of water because it is so hot here at the moment. I had training for my junior cricket team this afternoon and even though it was hot I had them doing a lot of running during a fielding practice session. When I got home I didn’t have long before I had to go to work but I was feeling hungry without any real time to prepare anything. Last night Caitlin had made some keto friendly carrot cup cakes for Leanne to take to work for a group morning tea. There were a few leftover so I had one and was quite impressed. It is important to know that carrots are something you should not eat often on keto because of their sugar content.

I forgot my lunch box when I went to work so I had no water, or dinner which was not good. By the time I finished around midnight I was dying of thirst. I stopped at a petrol station on my way home and got a small pack of pork crackle and something to drink. Probably could have done without the pork crackle but I used the excuse I needed to get the total of the transaction up to $% to use eftpos. When I got home I had a dinner ready to be heated up of sausages, mushrooms and an egg. I was pretty hungry so I added a couple of slices of roast lamb. I feel I have over eaten for today so I am not overly happy with myself. No major damage I think but I need to be better.

Weigh In day Monday November 5

Here it is again, weigh in day. They seem to come around quickly. As I said in my last post, I am confident of a good result. I don’t know why, I just am. Drum roll please……. and the results are in, fist pump everybody 128.5 kgs! Woohoo, that is a loss of 2.7 kgs! I am ecstatic. That is my best loss since the first week. However it is still just a small battle win, not time to celebrate as the war continues.

No breakfast again this morning. I had a pork crackle snack about mid-morning. At about 1 I had a lunch of an omelette and a sausage. I was working late as Taylah didn’t finish work after school until 10. It was an extremely hot day so at about 7 I stopped to get a drink. while at the shop I found these chicken breast snacks. I had a small bag of them and that satisfied me easily.

During the day I managed to walk for 45 minutes and had a very slow 5 minute run. I have probably mentioned it before but there is no intent in my walking. I am not trying to walk fast, or cover a certain distance, I am just walking to increase my daily steps. In my opinion this is an important step. Don’t get me wrong cardio is important and I am getting a little of that with the short runs I am having. However the last time I lost weight I was successful because I didn’t try to overdo exercise as in the past doing that has had a negative effect on continuing. Building up how much you move each day and continuing to do it is far more important than running your guts out for 5 kms and then not doing anything after that for weeks. The more you get your body moving the more it will want to move and that comes from my own personal experience, not the word of some fitness freak who has never been in my situation.

I got home just after 10 and waiting for me was some leftover roast lamb from last night with a salad and it was delicious. One thing I have noticed is that we are being less creative than we were in the beginning. I am putting this down to not needing to deceive our bodies into thinking they are eating naughty food. This is a good step as it makes meal preparation a lot easier than it was in the beginning.

After dinner I was wondering if I should set a goal for this weeks weight loss. I decided that was only going to lead to disappointment so opted not to. I did say to myself it would be nice even just to get under 128 kgs which would be a 600 gram loss. Getting under 130 kgs was my first major goal but with no set time limit. Now I am looking forward to getting under 125 kgs but no time limit set, I will enjoy whenever it comes.


The Weekend November 3 and 4

I almost wish at times I had started my weigh ins on Friday. The fact that I plan to weigh in every Monday means I want to behave myself on the weekend when I really like to be naughty food wise. So in hindsight it is a good thing I weigh in every Monday.

This weekend was pretty non-eventful really. I was up early on Saturday to coach my junior cricket side. I wasn’t hungry so I didn’t have breakfast again. We were home around lunch time and had leftover pizza from the night before. The afternoon was dedicated to Taylah trying on what felt like hundreds of formal dresses. She has her schools formal early next year and has also accepted an invitation from a boy to accompany him to his school formal. Now I thought one dress would do, but I was informed that would be considered social suicide and two will be needed. When she started trying on the dresses, my son, Hayden, and I went for a walk for about a half hour, nothing to vigorous but still some exercise. I thought she would nearly be finished when we got back but we spent the next three hours or more trying dress after dress. It was a really hot day so Hayden and I went for another walk to get a cold drink and something to eat. Hayden was eating chicken nuggets and I was a little jealous but I stuck with the pork crackle.

I was meant to take Taylah to netball Saturday evening but I fell asleep on the couch and Leanne couldn’t wake me so she took her. Which left Caitlin and I at home to get dinner ready when I did finally wake up. I just cooked some sausages and had them with a salad and my famous big mac sauce. I also boiled some eggs to make egg salad for lunch at cricket in Brisbane on Sunday

I was up early again Sunday for our trip to Brisbane so Taylah can play cricket. Taylah is on her learners so I don’t have to drive but neither can I doze off. It was a difficult trip for me as I was nodding off all the time when I shouldn’t have been. We got there safely though. I had skipped breakfast again so I was hungry by that time and had some pork crackle chips for a snack. At lunch time I ate half my egg salad and lettuce and saved the rest for the afternoon. That never eventuated though because thanks in part to Taylah the girls won the game quickly and we left a lot earlier than usual. I did finish it off when we got home at about 3:30 though. For dinner Leanne had made a lamb roast and it was delicious. I didn’t even miss the roast potatoes and pumpkin we would normally have.

Weigh in day tomorrow. I’m thinking something good is coming, here is hoping.

Friday November 2

I had a good day today. Spirits were high which makes a great change from lately. I had an omelette for breakfast, pork crackle chips for a snack closer to lunch time. I had another snack later in the afternoon of pork crackle chips.

Around 7:30 I came home from work for dinner. Tonight Leanne was trying to make keto pizzas for the first time. I have to say they were pretty good. One she made with almond flour, the other was with coconut flour. I personally couldn’t tell the difference. I have read though that people complain about things tasting to much like coconut when that type of flour is used. Leanne, Caitlin and Hayden said they could taste the coconut.

Keto pizza is good

The interesting thing is Leanne put two pieces on my plate and I said I wanted three. She said I can come back for the third one. I was a little annoyed about this as I felt like it was a waste of time. However I think Leanne is probably much smarter than me, as after two I didn’t feel like anymore. If I had of put three on my plate to start with even though two was enough I probably would have eaten all three.  Thank you my beautiful wife.

I went back to work for a couple of hours after dinner and did not have any of those cravings for Hungry Jacks I use to get when working late.

Thursday November 1

Funnily enough, even though I went to bed without dinner last night, I was not hungry when I woke up this morning. Leanne had made me an omelette so I wrapped it in foil and took it with me.  I ate it about 10 but even then I only really ate it because it didn’t feel right still not being hungry.

Also I was to preoccupied on my anger and depression yesterday that I forgot to mention  the exercise I did. Ben and I went for an hour walk early in the morning. Later in the day I did another 20 minute walk as well as a very slow  5 minute run.  I am keen to start getting more exercise happening now, although I am conscious of not trying to over do it or have goals that are unachievable.

The rest of today was a real struggle. I didn’t eat my lunch because I am over avocado. Ive never been the biggest fan unless it is guacamole. Initially the chicken salad we were having was great but for some reason it is now full of avocado and I am just not interested in eating it. I haven’t been taking snacks with me because i haven’t needed them, but I could have used them today.

It was a real mental struggle. I thought I was going to relent, I really wanted to eat something I am not meant to. I drove past kfc, hungry jacks and mcdonalds at different stages and at any moment I felt I could have relented. I knew I could survive the day but I knew feeling like this was going to lead to trouble down the track. I just wouldn’t be able to keep my will power up day after day.

Everything had been going so well that I started to wonder if this was my own doing. Was it the fact that I had started eating less or skipping meals, even though I didn’t feel like them at the time. Should I have kept eating these meals even though I wasn’t hungry to make sure I didn’t end down this path. Or was it more a symptom of the low I was on at the moment and I was just looking for that quick fix to bring me out of that black hole. I was rational enough though to know that it wouldn’t help and would only make things worse so I stayed strong.

I worked until half past eight as that was when Taylah finished work. By the time we got home I was really hungry but I didn’t really feel like eating healthy. Leanne had made a keto friendly chicken parmigiana. It didn’t look very appetising and I was feeling quite despondent about the whole thing. As it turned out it was quite delicious and after finishing dinner all my negative feelings had dissipated and I was feeling like I can do this. Lets face it I haven’t had that many bad days which I have found surprising, so I should take this one on the chin and be aware that just because I am feeling weak at a specific time, doesn’t meant I will continue to feel that way. I also believed skipping dinner the night before may have played a big part in how I felt today.

Wednesday October 31

I skipped breakfast again this morning. I guess I am spoilt as normally Leanne makes breakfast because she wakes up earlier than me as she starts work earlier. There is no reason why I can’t make my own but I just don’t. Breakfast has never been a meal I am fond of eating early in the morning. In the past I have forced myself to eat something just because we are suppose to apparently. Anyway at this stage it is not affecting my overall appetite.

Taylah made a chicken caesar salad for lunch that was quite nice but I didn’t eat that until near 3 o’clock. I did have some pork crackle for a snack around 11 though.

Taylah’s cricket training in Ipswich was cancelled tonight which I find quite annoying. Don’t get me wrong the thought of not having to drive for over an hour each way is nice but it means I am now available for another commitment I was happy to avoid. Tonight was my son Hayden’s award night for school. Now people are going to probably think what a bad parent not wanting to go to your son’s awards night and you might be fair with that perception. However let me clarify, I love nothing more than watching my children participate in these type of events. Unfortunately this one normally goes for about 3 hours and beside the two times my son is on the stage for a total of about 10 minutes it is boring. Actually that is not completely true, there is plenty of other entertaining stuff in between the boring stuff but not enough to make up for the boredom. Close to 3 hours seating in the same seat is quite painful for me. As I have mentioned before I am fat everywhere except my arse. I would kill for just a little bit of that fat to cushion my arse, but alas that is not the case.

The real problem came from how late we got home from this event. I was absolutely starving and was looking forward to what Caitlin my middle child had cooked for dinner why we were out. Well due to the event going overtime dinner looked quite uninviting and it really pissed me off. It wasn’t Caitlin’s fault or even really the schools fault. It was mainly mine for not eating enough during the day and my depression issues were playing a part. I could feel myself starting a downer, falling deeper into that dark whole and as I have said before food has been my emotional crutch at these times. I had already snapped up Taylah and Hayden in the car on the way home and I knew I was angrier than I had a right to be. I slammed my plate down on the kitchen bench and said I am not eating this shit and went and sulked on the couch. I haven’t been like this for a while and I was upset for my behaviour as well as the anxiety of not knowing how long will this bout last.

After sitting on the couch I played Red Dead for about 45 minutes and went to bed without eating dinner. I did eat a thick slice of salami but that was all. I tried to take the positive out of the fact that this may just help me lose more weight and I was just hoping I would wake up feeling better in the morning.

Tuesday October 30

Another morning today where I haven’t had breakfast. How many times have you heard that it is the most important meal of the day? Well keto throws that out of the window. the first time I lost weight I ate when I wasn’t even hungry because I was meant to. However with keto they say don’t eat unless your hungry. Not famished mind you just hungry. Waiting until you are famished is a disaster waiting to happen. So lately I am finding that I am hungry about mid-morning and normally just have a pork crackle snack. Sometimes I am hungry by lunch time and eat then, other times it is not until later in the afternoon. This was the case today and I had my lunch about 3:30.

I forgot to mention Ben and I went for an hour walk this morning. We plan to go for another one tomorrow as well.

Leanne still despondent about her lack of weight loss has lost her interest in finding delicious keto meals. When I got home she said she has no imagination so dinner was a grilled pork chop with some steamed veggies. To be honest I enjoyed it. I told her that I don’t care and if she remembers the last time I lost weight some steamed veggies with a grilled piece of meat was what my dinner was more often than not. Also I think now that I am finding it easier not eating the foods I love that I don’t need to disguise things to convince myself that I am eating naughty food.